2.         Dissolution

Song: Stand or Bend

Metal- Tin

Dissolution is the dissolving of the masks, burdens, and impurities into water. It represents how water is fluid and live giving it still has the power to dissolve, rust, and erode strong metals like iron. The Egyptians used Iron as a disinfectant.

The state of dissolution is where I had to summon all that was pushed down and erode away the barriers that I had built for myself. Mostly unconscious at the time there began to be a definite split in my personalities, one withering and ashes the other flooding like water. The vibration, “Stand or Bend” is the dissolving of defects and masks that kept me miserable. Often times this feels like a creative flow to which judgement and guilt are dissolved into the life giving element of water. The Viscous Vibe guitar Pedal and Natural Harmonics are used during the song to give a watery backdrop in contrast to the rusted iron of metal guitar and vocals.

The use of Jamaican “overstanding” means that I am looking understand the root causes and conditions to my suffering and ego on a deeper level than the texts and lectures I had memorized and understood; this is in order to take authority for myself and free my autonomy. At the end of this vibration there is the full “breakdown” to which the words “Blood Clot”, a patois slang term for “What the Fuck?” and other variations because self discovery is simultaneously a confusing yet clarifying process.

Once I had broken down the defects in my character like greed, lust, and pride I felt distant from the mask I tried to present. Usually masked with a customer service smile that believes it’s okay for people to treat me however because I’ll always show love back. However that is not love because all that aggression towards them I reflected back inside, which pushed me away from everyone and everything, a subtle form of hate. Allowing these burdens to surface is a cathartic experience to take responsibility for avoiding trauma and also to look at how this unhappiness affects others.

This stage of transformation is brought about accidentally by illnesses and misfortunes in our lives that cause us to really pay attention to what we’re doing, shocking us out of our avoidance patterns.